21 February, 2014
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05 January, 2011
You have only 8 ways to make a person laugh!
You have only 8 ways to make a person laugh!
You can make a person laugh only in eight ways, says a leading evolutionary theorist who claims to have found the reason to why jokes are funny.
According to Alastair Clarke - who has published details of eight patterns he claims to be the basis of all the humour that has ever been imagined or expressed, regardless of civilization, culture or personal taste - he has identified the precise nature of the patterns involved, addressing the deceptively simple unit and context relationships at their foundation.
Clarke explains: "One of the most beautiful things about the theory is that, while denying all previous theories, it also unites them for the first time. For decades researchers have concentrated on limited areas of humour and have each argued for causality based on their specific interest.
"Now that we have pattern recognition theory, all previous explanations are accommodated by a single over-arching concept present in all of them.
"The eight patterns divide into two main categories. The first four are patterns of fidelity, by which we recognize the repetition of units within the same context, and the second four are patterns of magnitude, by which we recognize the same unit repeated in multiple contexts.
"What this all means is that the basic faculty of pattern recognition equips us to compare multiple units for their appropriateness within a certain context, effectively selecting the best tool for the job, and then to apply our chosen unit to as wide a range of contexts as possible, effectively discovering the largest number of jobs that tool is good for.
"Basically humour is all about information processing, accelerating faculties that enable us to analyse and then manipulate incoming data."
Clarke lists the patterns that are active in humour as positive repetition, division, completion, translation, applicative and qualitative recontextualization, opposition and scale.
"Some are more intuitive than others," he admitted.
He added: "The most basic, positive repetition, simply means that the unit is repeated in a similar form with the same purpose.
"As with all patterns, the repeated unit can be composed of any information available to the human brain, whether an entity, action or property. Then there's opposition, in which we take the unit and turn it against itself, such as can be seen in a mirror image or if we turn an arrow back to point in the other direction, producing a pattern of symmetry. However, while all the patterns are relatively simple in structure the activity of some forms of translation and recontextualization can seem counter-intuitive at first sight.
"In instances of humour these patterns may be recognized individually or in any possible combination of the eight.
"Most instances are founded on one or two, although theoretically there is no limit to the number of patterns a person has recognized when they find something funny. Pattern recognition remains a subjective matter, just like any other perception."
Details of the patterns and how they relate to more than a hundred forms of humour are published in ''The Eight Patterns Of Humour''.
"The patterns reflect vitally important cognitive frameworks. Those of fidelity provide us with a basic arithmetical toolkit, while those of magnitude provide everything required to develop syntactical systems. Pattern recognition is in many ways pattern cognition, since the promotion of patterns through the reward systems associated with humour has massively accelerated humankind''s ability to order and manipulate multiple units for multiple uses. Put like that, there are few better ways to express human ingenuity and adaptability," the expert said.
Source: ANI
03 January, 2011
10 Old friends key to happiness
Ten old friends key to happiness
A new study conducted by University of Nottingham researchers suggests that happiness depends upon the number of old friends one has.
The researchers have found that people with at least 10 good pals are likely to be happier than those with fewer than five.
“Having a number of old, close friendship is related to individual happiness,” British tabloid The Sun quoted Dr. Richard Tunney of the University of Nottingham as saying.
“People who were ‘extremely satisfied’ with life had twice as many friends as people ‘extremely dissatisfied’,” he added.
Source: ANI
Blondes alluring, brunettes dependable
Blondes alluring, brunettes dependable
Men prefer blondes as girlfriends but dark-haired women are considered the best long-term option, suggests a study that found brunettes were perceived as more dependable by males.
The research has supported the old adage that gentlemen prefer blondes, but not when it comes to choosing a wife.
According to the Daily Express, in the poll of 3,000 men it was found that men think blondes are preferable as girlfriends, but when it comes to marriage, 52 per cent would rather wed a dark-haired woman because they are seen as more dependable. Only 18 per cent of the men thought a blonde would make a good wife, it said.
“This shows just how much men judge a woman by their hair colour,” hairdresser Andrew Collinge, whose company commissioned the poll, was quoted as saying by the British tabloid.
Almost 37 per cent said women with fair hair were fun, but dark-haired women were more dependable.
The research also revealed that 33 per cent of males have a particular hair shade they always go for, with 44 per cent saying they are more attracted to brunettes.
Women in red really do make men go weak in the knees
Women in red really do make men go weak in the knees
Planning for a romantic dinner with the man of your dreams? Well, don’t forget to wear something in red, for the colour will sure make him drool all over you, according to a new study.
In their study, Professor Andrew Elliot and Dr Daniela Niesta of the University of Rochester, New York, have said that men find women in red more sexually attractive, confirming it really is the colour of romance.
Elliot claimed that men rated a woman shown in photographs as more sexually attractive if she was wearing red clothing or if she was shown in an image framed by a red border rather than some other colour.
The researchers also speculated that the attraction towards red could be an evolutionary trait too.
"It could be this very deep, biologically based automatic tendency to respond to red as an attraction cue given our evolutionary heritage," ABC Online quoted Elliot as saying.
In the study more than 100 men, mostly college undergraduates, were shown pictures of women and asked to rate how pretty they were, how much the men would like to kiss them and how much the men would like to have sex with them.
They were then shown a woman, with some of the pictures bordered in red and some bordered in white, grey or green.
When framed in red, the men rated a woman as more attractive if she was framed in red, than when she was bordered by another colour.
Later, the men were shown photographs of a woman that were identical, but in some versions, the researchers digitally made her shirt red or blue in others.
And the researchers again saw the inclination towards woman in red.
They pointed out that the colour red only altered men’s attractiveness and not likability, intelligence or kindness - only attractiveness.
The study is published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Source: ANI
1 in 10 Brit women harbour lesbian fantasies
1 in 10 Brit women harbour lesbian fantasies
Has your girlfriend told you that she’s going out with her girlfriends – the tenth time in three days? Well, then please be beware, for chances are that she could be hiding lesbian tendencies.
Yes, you heard it right. According to a new research, a large number of women lust after their female friends in private, reports the Daily Star.
In fact, they are so attracted to their own sex that a large number of them confessed of having sexual fantasies about their girly mates.
McCain Simply Gorgeous Chips conducted the survey, which came out with the shocking results.
It was revealed that 8 percent of all women have had secret thoughts about girlfriends.
Source: ANI
French lady performs Chhath for Belgian hubby
French lady performs Chhath for Belgian hubby
A French woman performed Chhath puja, a Hindu festival in which prayers are offered to the sun god, in Bihar’s Bodh Gaya town for the long life of her Belgian husband.
Axlle, a French woman in her late 20s, offered prayers to the rising sun early Wednesday on the bank of Niranjana river at Bodh Gaya, about 110 km from here.
Her husband Vianney, a resident of Belgium, joined her to offer prayers along with his two friends from Belgium near the river in Bodh Gaya, which is considered the birthplace of Buddhism. It was here that Buddha attained enlightenment over 2,550 years ago.
Clad in a bright violet sari and with vermillion in the parting of her hair, carrying the traditional bamboo tray known as `soop', Axlle followed the prayer rituals strictly.
“I was impressed by the spiritual concept behind offering prayers to the sun god and decided to perform Chhath, a new experience for me and my husband,” said Axlle, a nurse.
She said that she offered prayers to the setting and the rising Sun god for the long life of her husband. "It was all I wish and seek blessing of the sun god,” she said.
“My husband was happy that I offered prayers to the sun god for his long life,” she added.
Axlle and Vianney were visiting Bodh Gaya during their trip to India.
The family members of Shankar Yadav, a local resident, helped her and provided fruits, home-made sweets and milk for the rituals.
Yadav's family members said that a few years ago, a woman from Denmark offered prayers to the sun god in Bodh Gaya to mark Chhath.
The festival, once limited to Bihar, is fast becoming popular across India due to the large-scale migration of workers from Bihar.
The festival was widely celebrated this year in metros like Kolkata, New Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore and Hyderabad and states like Assam, Punjab, Maharashtra, Andhra Pradesh and even Tamil Nadu.
The four-day-long celebrations started Sunday with shopping and preparation of traditional sweets. A large number of people thronged the river banks to bathe before preparing simple vegetarian food on handmade earthen hearths.
The devotees Monday prepared sweet dishes as part of the festival, celebrated by Hindus six days after Diwali, the festival of light.
Source: Indo-Asian News Service
Men 'willingly' risk life to woo women
Men 'willingly' risk life to woo women
Scientists at Florida State University have found what many ladies already knew: men use 'risky' tactics to show off their strength, ambition and confidence to woo women.
Apparently, that's the reason why blokes make up four-fifths of the world's skydivers and two-thirds of all rock climbers.
It has long been believed that women are choosier about men than men are about women.
It's not because girls want to make life difficult for guys; it's because, at least historically, women have had to pick men who could provide for them and their children. This pressure forces males to work harder to prove their worth.
Therefore, social psychologists at Florida State University decided to find the answer to: could risk-taking be one of the ways in which men show off their strength to potential lovers?
In order to reach the conclusion, the boffins asked 134 undergraduate male and female psychology students to participate in an experiment. They wanted to see whether men would take more risks if they were "in the mood" and if the men thought there were beautiful women around for them to woo.
During the experiment, the experts showed students pictures of either 10 attractive or 10 unattractive faces of the opposite sex. Then they asked the subjects how sexually motivated they felt - that is, how interested they were in finding new sexual partners.
One-by-one, each of the students then played a succession of 11 rigged blackjack hands; since the researchers knew what cards the participants had, and all were given the same cards, the scientists could compare how the subjects played each hand. (Asking for a "hit" indicated a risky move, since the player risked going over 21, while "staying" was considered safe.)
Finally, after the game, the researchers tested the students' memories for the faces they had seen before the game.
The men were much more likely to take blackjack risks if they were sexually motivated and had seen images of beautiful women before they played. The guys were also more likely to take risks if they saw attractive female faces and remembered them afterwards - even if they weren't looking for a new partner - perhaps because the faces made more of an impression on them and ramped up their sexual desire.
The behavior of the female students, however, wasn't affected by what they felt, saw, or remembered.
"The bottom line is that risk-taking can be a tool that men use to show potential mates that they have desirable qualities such as confidence or ambition," Live Science quoted study co-author Michael Baker, a doctoral student in social psychology at Florida State, as saying.
Source: ANI
02 January, 2011
Impress your date, read Mandela, Shakespeare
Impress your date, read Mandela, Shakespeare!
Leafing through Nelson Mandela's autobiography can improve a man's chances of winning a woman's heart, says a study on how reading can help those looking for love.
"While men and women shared a love of cookery books, poetry and song lyrics, men said women who read current affairs websites would impress them the most, suggesting that they find partners who can display a factual knowledge of the outside world more attractive," according to the study conducted by the National Year of Reading, a British project to promote reading.
"Women, on the other hand, put men who read Nelson Mandela's autobiography top of their list as it shows a more sensitive understanding of world issues, through a personal lens," the project said in a release.
More research findings:
- Almost one in five adults (18 percent) would read whilst waiting for their date to arrive in the hope of making a good first impression.
- Men are twice as likely as women to read poetry to impress a potential partner.
- Almost half (47 percent) of teens drop it into conversation and a quarter (24 percent) of teens back that up with evidence by leaving their reading material visible in their bag.
- However, lying about something people have read to impress the person they fancy is the second most common dating deceit, after fibbing about your previous sexual conquests. People are more likely to lie about what they've read than their age or job, with more than a third (39 percent) bending the truth about their reading material to friends and potential partners.
Jenni Trent Hughes, dating and relationship expert, said: "For many of us, myself included, someone's reading habits top the list of 'Who Is My Perfect Match?' Do they read a lot? What do they read? Do they enjoy having deep and meaningful discussions about what they've read?
"The fact that someone enjoys reading can tell you that their mind is open to learning new things. It usually indicates a variety of interests and provides endless topics for discussion," she said.
National Year of Reading director Honor Wilson-Fletcher said: "Reading is a brilliant tool for self-expression. I love the fact that every generation seems to know that it can help us all increase our potential appeal in the search for love and romance."
For those who find classics and poetry heavy, he added there is more to reading than that. "Websites, song lyrics and current affairs titles are just as important."
Top 10 reads to impress a man:
1. Current Affairs websites
2. Shakespeare
3. Song lyrics
4. Cookery books
5. Poetry
6. "Long Walk to Freedom" By Nelson Mandela
7. Jane Austen
8. Facebook/ My space
9. Religious texts
10. Financial Times
Top 10 reads to impress a woman:
1. "Long Walk to Freedom" by Nelson Mandela
2. Shakespeare
3. Cookery books
4. Poetry
5. Song lyrics
6. Current affairs websites
7. Text messages
8. Emails
9. Financial Times
10. Facebook
Top 10 reads to impress a teenage guy:
1. Facebook/My space
2. Text messages
3. Harry Potter
4. Song lyrics
5. Emails
6. Current affairs websites
7. Zoo/Nuts
8. Poetry
9. Metro
10. Shakespeare
Top 10 reads to impress a teenage girl:
1. Facebook/My space
2. Text messages
3. Song lyrics
4. Cookery books
5. Harry Potter
6. Poetry
7. Emails
8. Jane Austen
9. Shakespeare
10. Heat
Source: Indo-Asian News Service
How to live a happy married life during economic crisis
How to live a happy married life during economic crisis
The credit crunch has not only affected world’s economy but has also left stains on couples’ relationships. Now, a leading expert has provided some tips to help couples get through the bumpy situation.
In her opinion, the key to getting through this crisis is to realize that the financial problems are not going to vanish in the flick of a second and to communicate your fears.
Rapini said if you’re too angry to talk, write a note, and talk later. Keeping feelings inside only harbors resentment in the long run, and in many cases, leads to cheating and/or divorce.
Don’t panic
If you take your money out now there will be penalties. Consider the long term view.
Cut family expenses
Sit down with your spouse and find three expenses you can cut back on. This will end up making your bond stronger.
Eat at home/Exercise together
Eating at home costs less and is healthier. Take a bike ride or walk with your spouse and talk. This is a great way to promote togetherness.
Set small realistic goals
Take a few dollars from each of your paychecks and start putting away a little money now for a summer vacation.
Entertain at home
Having friends over, as opposed to going out to a restaurant or club, is much cheaper and, most of the time, more fun. You can relax, talk and share ideas of how to get out of this financial mess.
“Most healing happens when people work together. Reach out to your spouse and share your feelings with them during this difficult time. It will make it less scary and will help you to begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel,” said Rapini.
Source: ANI
Unrealistic married life’s hopes driving brides to post-nuptial depression
Unrealistic married life’s hopes driving brides to post-nuptial depression
Due to unrealistic expectations of married life, a growing number of British brides are turning to counselling in order to deal with "post-nuptial depression", medical experts have warned.
According to psychologists, about 10 percent of newly-married women are seeking counselling to cope with their "secret sadness".
Dr Michelle Gannon, a San Francisco psychologist, said that a rising number of couples were finding it difficult to deal with the inevitable rows, having expected a life of marital bliss, reports the Telegraph.
"I tell them: ''Where did you get the idea that you weren't supposed to fight'' You are. It's normal," he told Time magazine.
"It's also normal to remain independent and to be responsible for you own happiness. It's unrealistic to presume your partner is going to do everything for you,” the expert added.
The researcher said that a decline in the release of hormones that stimulate affection could help explain why new brides feel low after marriage, and why sex lives can decline.
"Couples end up having less sex precisely when they think they should be having more. That is understandably stressful," Dr Gannon said.
According to experts, the problems are exacerbated by men who bottle up their feelings and women who are too embarrassed to talk about their marital problems.
The research is based on studies of married couples in California.
Source: ANI
Seven ways to sniff out Infidelity!
Seven ways to sniff out Infidelity!
Not sure if your partner is true to you? Well, then here are a few signs that may help sniff out whether he/she is lying or not.
Here are seven ways to identify a liar, reports Fox News.
- Consider the person’s recall: Liars never forget what they have to say but they may stumble when telling a tale by making contradicting statements. They’re also eager to change the subject.
- Observe the person’s overall body language: Liars can look ill at ease, fiddling with their hair, stroking their throat, or rubbing their eyes. With their body often turned away from you, you may notice hand or leg fidgeting. Liars also have trouble swallowing and may shake their heads after a point has been made. When the subject finally gets changed, they appear happier and more comfortable, maybe laughing nervously.
- Take notice of any defensiveness: Liars will often take offence to any indication that they’re under suspicion. They’re likely to throw any accusations you throw at them back at you. They will also talk too much, feeling the need to over-explain themselves.
- Home in on facial expressions: Liars fail to control their micro-expressions. While fibbing, you may notice nervous twitching. Their hand may be covering or touching their face. People also tend to touch the mouth when feeling guilty or anxious. They’re particularly good with fake smiles.
- Don’t overlook the Pinocchio reaction: When a human tells a lie, extra blood gets pumped through the body and the nose swells by a fraction of millimeter. Liars may subsequently touch the tip of their nose unconsciously.
- Concentrate on the eyes: A liar has a troubled brow and downcast or darting eyes. They have trouble directly engaging your gaze. They also give you eye-accessing clues. If the person is telling you the truth, he’ll look up and to the left since that’s the side of the brain we use for recalling information. If she’s lying, she’ll look up and to the right, which is the creative side of the brain, because she’s mentally constructing something that hasn’t happened.
- Note the person’s voice: The higher the stakes are, the more the liar has a fear of getting caught. With this, the liar has a harder time controlling his body language or her voice. The pitch or rate of the speech may change, with the individual giving a lot of “umms” and “ahhs.” Often, a liar will appear stilted and monotone. Answers may seem rehearsed.
Source: ANI
Want your baby happy? Net them
Want your baby happy? Net them
The internet is turning out to be a mother’s best friend. Niche websites are courting mothers and mothers-to-be for school supplies, diapers and mom-to-mom information
Is your baby happy? Well, now you will you know. Kid and parent.in, a one-year-old information portal on parenting,started by S R Prathaban, a Coimbatore-based engineer-turned-entrepreneur, has all the answers for Happy Babies, who are social, make sound, are active and energetic. The website on parenting has 27,000 users on Facebook and 3,000 registered members on the website. The popularity, shares Prathaban, 34, is fuelled by home access to the internet and the decline of the extended family.
"The number of internet users has jumped significantly and there is this huge mommy tech wave in metros, which should be tapped," he says.
Hoping for long term gains, technology mavens and executives are now reaching out to mothers.E-commerce websites such as babyoye.com and hushbabies.com are trying to make their lives materially better, while the niche website fleximoms.in addresses the need for a second career, after a long hiatus. Meanwhile, websites such as ohmybaby.in, a social networking portal, facilitates young mothers to chat about post-pregnancy issues, diet, fitness and even help juggle money matters.
Shopping too is an integral part of the web game. For the past four months, Arunima Singhdeo, founder of babyoye.com has been marketing infant and baby toys, strollers, diapers and cereals online. The maximum traffic on the website is driven by mothers between the age group of 25-35, shares the 35-year-old Mumbai-based entrepreneur. Her website went live in September and since then the number of users has risen to 15,000. "The new age mother has to juggle several tasks, they are super busy and we help them by bringing the products to the doorstep," she says. Unarguably, her previous experience as the vice president of sales in naukri.com and motherhood has come handy in setting up the website. For further assistance, she has also set up a three-member customer care centre that suggests the right buys.
Much before her, however, Kris Vidhyasagar and Veena Dhinakar were selling products on their website hushbabies.com. Online since March, 70 per cent of the purchases on the portal are made by mothers. "In the US and Europe, expecting mothers are truly wired. They get their information from portals and make purchases online. We wanted to bring this concept to India, where parenting is a very sensitive issue," says Vidhyasagar, vice president of hushbabies.com. He worked with Cisco, an American MNC, before setting up the website with Dhinakar. The website's most active group comprises 20-35 year olds. "Beyond 35, sales are usually for gifts," shares Coimbatore-based Vidhyasagar. So far, the website with over thirty brands generates revenue only through sales.
Delhi-based Sairee Chahal, co-founder of fleximoms.in, helps women begin their second innings at the workplace. Her year-old portal runs offline programmes that act as a confidence stimulus for "women who drift off their careers after motherhood, transfer or when they cross 30". The website has over 50,000 users and has helped several women in getting jobs. "The second career market is still very nascent and has not been addressed so far. A lot of women take sabbatical from work because of the long working hours, complex lifestyle and nuclear family structure. Multinationals are quite apprehensive about hiring women after a long gap, this is where we step in," she says. A frequent visitor on the portal, comeback mom Shireen Shankar, 44 -- a mother of two, who took a ten-year hiatus in 1998 -- says, "It is a huge culture change. The biggest thing you lose is confidence, but being a mother gives you multitasking skills that come handy at work". She is currently working with a PR company.
And those looking to chat with fellow moms can also do so online. Log on to ohmybaby.in , set up by Chennai-based Sathya Gopi, who works for IBM India and is a mother to six-month-old Adithya. The website touches upon topics such as working moms, C-section and labour and delivery issues.
Most Facebook users have low self-esteem
Most Facebook users have low self-esteem
Facebook is used mostly by narcissists and those with low self-esteem, says a Canadian study.
These type of people use Facebook as a self-promotional tool, says psychology researcher Soraya Mehdizadeh of York University.
Mehdizadeh, who extensively examined the online habits and personalities of 100 Facebook users aged 18 to 25 years old, found that individuals higher in narcissism and lower in self-esteem spent more time on the site and filled their pages with more self-promotional content.
"We all know people like this. They are updating their status every five minutes and the photos they post are very carefully construed," she says.
"The question is, are these really accurate representations of the individual or are they merely a projection of who the individual wants to be?"
Mehdizadeh says she was struck by the fact that those with lower self-esteem were more apt to use this social networking tool.
As part of her research, she examined five features of participants' Facebook pages for self-promotion: the 'about me' section, the main photo, the first 20 pictures on the 'view photos of me' section, notes, and status updates.
Describing self-promotion by Facebook users as any descriptive or visual information that attempted to persuade others about one's own positive qualities, Mehdizadeh assessed facial expression (striking a pose or making a face) and picture enhancement (using photo editing software) in the main photo and 'view photos of me' sections.
Further, she examined the use of positive adjectives, self-promoting mottos, and metaphorical quotes in the 'about me' section. Self-promotion in the notes section could include posting results from Facebook applications including 'my celebrity look-alikes,' which compares a photo of the user to celebrities, or vain online quiz results.
After this, she used the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale to measure participants' self-esteem. Narcissism was assessed by using the Narcissism Personality Inventory, according to a university release.
From the gender perspective, Mehdizadeh says she found that men displayed more self-promotional content in the 'about me' and notes sections, whereas women demonstrated more self-promotion in the main photo section.
"I thought this was an interesting way to apply theoretical paradigms in psychology to online self-presentation, which is still a fairly new concept,'' says the Canadian researcher.
"I believe the next question to be answered is whether or not the use of such websites could be used to improve one's self-esteem and overall sense of well-being. This sort of finding may have great implications in the lives of the socially anxious or depressed,'' according to the researcher.
The study has been published in the journal Cyber psychology, Behavior, and Social Networking.
Source: Gurmukh Singh/IANS
Modern Etiquette: How to decline Facebook friends without offence
Modern Etiquette: How to decline Facebook friends without offence
Saying no to friend requests from colleagues can be a tricky thing.
A colleague I just met at work has invited me to be their friend on Facebook. I don't want to offend them, but nor do I want to share my candid photos and lousy Scrabble scores with someone I hardly know.
Can I ignore their invite?
"Can I be your friend?" might work as an ice-breaker among small children, but it's not a question you hear often between adults, at least not outside of Las Vegas.
Friendship, it is generally understood, is a relationship that evolves through shared interests, common experiences and a primeval need to share your neighbor's power tools.
Yet for many people, Facebook permits a return to the simplicity of the schoolyard.
Rather than inviting someone to be our Facebook friend only after we've become friends in the real world, many of us are using Facebook as a short-cut around all that time-consuming relationship building.
Why bother asking someone you've just met questions about their family, interests and ability to run a farm or aquarium, when you can simply send them a friend request and read the answers in your Facebook news feed? And so we think little of receiving friend requests after we meet someone for the first time at, say, a dinner party.
If you like the person, perhaps because they brought an excellent bottle of wine to the party, then you can accept the request in the hope of further opportunities to sample the contents of their cellar.
If you didn't get to taste the wine because they accidentally spilled the bottle over your brand new party dress, then etiquette experts would probably agree that you can decline the friend request, send them a dry-cleaning bill and humiliate them in a derisory posting to your real Facebook friends.
In the workplace, however, the dynamic is very different. The consequences of offending someone by ignoring their friend request are greater with a colleague you see every day than with a careless dining companion you may never meet again.
So why are people you work with increasingly offering to share their Facebook output?
Joan Morris DiMicco, an IBM researcher who studies social software in the workplace, said it's partly because some people just don't anticipate the ramifications of sharing their personal life with colleagues.
But it's also a function of the Facebook interface, which recommends other people for you to friend.
"Once you've connected to one person you work with you get recommendations to connect to others that you work with," she said.
Of course, many people don't have a problem with being Facebook friends with colleagues, especially those they know well. But for those who would rather keep their work and private lives separate, there are options other than ignoring an unwanted friend request.
One is to accept the invitation and then use Facebook's privacy settings to limit the flow of information between you and your new "friend." To do this, you can create a "colleagues" list from the Friends menu and then add to it your new friend. Then navigate to the privacy settings and use the "Profile Information" section to control what information people on the "colleagues" list can see.
An alternative, says workplace etiquette expert Barbara Pachter, is to suggest to the colleague that you connect instead on LinkedIn, a social network for professional relationships.
"You can just go ahead and ask them to join you on LinkedIn and hope they forget they sent you a Facebook friend request," said Pachter, the author of New Rules @ Work.
"Or you can say, Thanks for asking me. I'm keeping Facebook for my family and friends. I'm asking you to join me on my professional network instead.'"
Pachter said that whatever you do, it's important not to offend your colleague -- and that's not just because politeness is good etiquette.
"The person you offend might end up being your boss next year," she said.
Got a question about the etiquette of email, social networks and other workplace technologies? Send them to richard.baum@reuters.com or via Twitter to @rbaum.
Source: Reuters
Emotions play crucial role in decision-making
Emotions play crucial role in decision-making
A new study from Columbia University has revealed that emotions play a crucial role while negotiating offers.
Scientists Andrew Stephen and Michel Tuan Pham looked at the interplay of emotion and reason in everyday deal making and found that our negotiating skills depend on our emotions to some extent.
The participants were made to play a classic negotiation game called the “ultimatum game.”
In the ultimatum game, one person (the “proposer”) has a given amount of cash, which he is told to divide with a second person any way he likes. The catch is that the second person must either accept the offer or reject it entirely, no negotiation allowed. If he rejects it, both players walk away with nothing.
For the study, the researchers manipulated how much participants trusted their feelings before they played a series of ultimatum games for real money.
They asked some of the participants to think of two occasions in their past when trusting their feelings to make decisions resulted in good outcomes.
People generally find it easy to think of two such occasions, giving participants greater confidence in trusting their own emotions while making decisions.
Other participants were told to think of 10 occasions when trusting their feelings to make decisions resulted in poor outcomes this made participants wary of trusting their feelings.
Then all the participants played a computerized version of the ultimatum game, in the role of “proposer.”
The researchers found that participants who were more confident in following their emotions offered somewhat less money than the others.
This is because they were more focused on the “gist” of the offer itself (and what felt good), rather than on estimating the other player’s possible reaction and calculating the probabilities of payoff. In short, the immediacy of the offer trumped the more complicated calculation.
The researchers believe that emotional negotiators actually have an easier time visualizing the offer itself: They picture themselves offering someone 20 dollars from their 50 dollars pot and it feels “okay.”
The study appears Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science.
Source: ANI
Computers games ‘bring families together’
Computers games ‘bring families together’
Contrary to the commonly held belief that computer games make people anti-social, a new research indicates that they bring families together.
During the research, Bond University's Dr Jeffrey Brand found that a growing number of parents are playing such games with their kids.
Brand found that 88 per cent of Australian homes have at least one device for video or computer games, reports the Courier Mail.
Seventy per cent of parents in such households play computer or video games, and of those, 80 per cent play them with their children.
Brand said the oldest person involved in the study was an 88-year-old who played computer games with his wife.
More than 1600 families were surveyed for the study.
Source: ANI
Men can detect infidelities better
Men can detect infidelities better
Unfaithful women better watch out, for according to a new research, men are better at detecting a cheating partner than females, and they’re more likely to suspect infidelities that don't exist.
Scientists found that men were able to spot a cheating heart in more than nine out of ten cases.
They were also more likely to catch out their partner's lies than women.
The flip side is that to counter this constant vigilance, women may be better than men at concealing illicit liaisons.
Paul Andrews at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond and colleagues gave 203 young heterosexual couples confidential questionnaires asking them whether they had ever strayed, and whether they suspected or knew their partner had strayed.
In this, 29 per cent of men said they had cheated, compared with 18.5 per cent of women.
The men were better than women at judging fidelity.
"Eighty per cent of women's inferences about fidelity or infidelity were correct, but men were even better, accurate 94 per cent of the time," says Andrews.
They were also more likely to catch out a cheating partner, detecting 75 per cent of the reported infidelities compared with 41 per cent discovered by women. However, men were also more likely to suspect infidelity when there was none.
Andrews says this makes evolutionary sense because unlike women, men can never be certain a baby is theirs.
He said: "Men have far more at stake. When a female partner is unfaithful, a man may himself lose the opportunity to reproduce, and find himself investing his resources in raising the offspring of another man."
"This adds to the evidence that men have evolved defences to detect their partner's infidelity," says David Buss at the University of Texas, Austin.
He adds that it demonstrates a "fascinating cognitive bias that leads men to err on the side of caution by overestimating a partner's infidelity".
Andrews suggests that women have countered this by becoming better at covering up affairs.
Complex statistical analysis of the data hinted that a further 10 per cent of the women in the study had cheated on top of the 18.5 per cent who admitted to it in the questionnaires, whereas the men had been honest about their philandering.
Source: ANI
Filing the 'love return'
Filing the 'love return'
My annual financial accounts were submitted to the tax authorities last week. Through statements of profit and loss and a balance sheet, I had a glimpse of my net worth — money made and losses incurred.
Now here’s a question? How about compiling an annual return on our relationships? Let’s say, we prepare a statement of account on our associations, how would we go about it?
Financial statements comprise income and expenses, assets and liabilities, net worth and return on capital. In a world of feelings and emotions, what would construe as income or gain? Who would be our asset and liability?
Short-term losses
I’m hoping some people in the confines of their homes, temples or mosques, rosaries in have, has muttered my name to the lord — that is ‘income’ big time!
I’ve made new friends and been generous to my staff. My heart brims with joy for the million moments I spend with my young son — all this would construe as investments.
Since relationships need to be nurtured. I look upon my spouse as an investment too, although with mood swings, temper tantrums and an expansive shopping list. The return on this investment fluctuates.
I consider the tiffs, phases of disagreements and domestic squabbles ‘short-term losses’. She wants me to consider the last lashing from her as ‘long term capital gain’. In the future, if she contemplates cosmetic surgery, then I will treat that as ‘dividend on investment’.
The scalp showing through increasingly with every haircut is ‘loss carried forward to next year’. If an email or letter arrives from an ex-girlfriend, I will account it under ‘income from other sources’. The friendly young mothers at my child’s playschool are to be treated as a ‘windfall’.
But seriously, won’t it be great to assess our relationships, gauge the quantum of our feelings through these annual returns on relationships? Every relationship is an unwritten contract anyway and comes with a presumption of performance, adherence to its ‘clauses’, and whether we like it or not, we do weigh our gains and losses.
So let’s add, multiply, subtract, and divide our associations. I promise the outcome will be more exciting than our real financial figures. You can file this return to me.
Tips on Love, relationship and dating
Tips on Love, relationship and dating
Here are some simple and effective tips that could redefine your concept of relationship to a greater extent.
1. Even if you are dating someone you know, it is best to meet him or her at a public place such as a park or a restaurant. A public place provides safety and security.
2. If you are familiar with your date, you should have an idea of his or hers likes and dislikes. Create a list of activities that you and your date would both love to do.
3. Remember that the date should be fun. Bring laughter into the conversation by bringing out your sense of humor through jokes. Make every activity light and happy.
4. Calling your date right after you went out together to say thanks is a more personal approach.
5. Do not appear too needy by talking to your date over the phone for hours. Keep the chat short and simple.
6. Do not let your nerves overpower you when talking to your date. If you have to, try practicing what you are going to say beforehand.
7. Even if your date doesn't see you, she would definitely appreciate if you are talking with a happy grin as it would come across the phone line.
8. Sending messages through your mobile phone are fun and convenient, but is easily misinterpreted.
9. Pleasant surprises are far better than defeated expectations. If the phone rings, let them leave a message and respond as soon as you are ready to call back.
10. If you said you call, do so, even if it is to let them down gently. Expecting a call that never comes is a worst thing that you can do to someone.
11. Just before calling it a day, try out an aromatic bath and spray on your own irresistible brand of perfume. Tempt him with a sexy smelling you.
12. Discover your sexy touch and lead her on with a head massage followed by a full body massage and don’t forget the sensual massage oils.
13. Tired of monotony? Surprise him with a sexy little dance of your own and pick up the laciest lingerie for it.
14. On a relaxed Sunday afternoon, cuddle up to him with the fragrance of freshly washed hair making sensual magic.
15. Do something naughty together like have an ice cream for dinner or have a shower together.
16. A cocktail at night or a coffee early morning, had together cuddled up between the sheets is sure to be bang on.
17. Wanna spend the day in the bed with your partner? Get dark drapes and red scarves to cover the lamps in your bedroom to strike the right note.
18. Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Carve out at least half an hour a night and at least one day a month when you the two of you spend time exclusively together.
19. You will both need security, comfort. A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides.
20. Keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need him, but don’t cling, as that can make your partner trapped.
21. Encourage him to listen to you, by showing appreciation when he does. By the same token, show interest when he talks to you. Be aware that most men aren’t mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time.
22. Make him appreciate you. Don’t wait for a spontaneous compliment, but say something good about yourself and ask for his agreement.
23. Research suggests you need five positive experiences to erase the memory of one negative experience. So give five kind words for each rude comment. Give five hugs for each cold shoulder.
24. Learn to do the one thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in your relationship---giving your partner a genuine, loving and approving smile.
25. Often those subtle quirks that first attracted you to your partner can, with time, turn around and become annoying habits.
26. Hidden resentments poison a relationship; so if something bothers you, say it. Remember that while men are wary of emotional conversations, they love to find solutions.
27. Learn that punishing your partner won’t work. It may make you feel better to give him a hard time, but it will actually make him dig his heels in more.
28. Money is the main cause of couple conflict. For a relationship to work, you need to address finances and work out a budget.
29. If the domestic work is not divided fairly between you, it will cause friction in your relationship. Make a list of the domestic tasks, talk it through with your partner and mobilize the whole family to share the work.
30. If you have children, involve your partner as much as possible with childcare –even if you feel he’s not as good as it at you are. It’s important to present a united front to your kids.
31. Learn how to negotiate. Each of you states what you want, then both of you work together to find a way forward.
32. Don’t assume you won’t be tempted to have an affair as almost everyone is. You need to learn to resist. If you do stray, don’t feel it spells the end of your relationship. Most couples recover, particularly from one-night-stand, and often find that unrooting the cause of the affair helps them to get even closer. So, you need to learn to resist. But don’t think that an affair is the end of everything.
33. Remember that boredom typically covers up anger. If you feel bored with him, ask yourself what you’re angry about.
34. Be aware that men feel overwhelmed by emotion more than women do. If he’s angry or tearful, half an hour’s ‘unflooding’ time to himself will help get his balance back and make him more able to interact positively with you.
35. Learn how to argue well. The trick is to never say anything that you wouldn’t want to hear said to you.
36. Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, decide who you are looking for, do your research and be ready to commit to dating.
37. Wearing provocative or inappropriate clothing risk making the wrong impression if you are going on a first date. Wear clothes that are appropriate to the venue, and at the same time your date would be familiar with.
SOURCE: INDIA SYNDICATE
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