Lived happily ever after?

Lived happily ever after?

It’s safe to say that most Hindi films end with the hero and heroine getting united or reunited (as the case may be) and leaving us with promises of a long and happy life ahead, full of impromptu songs, dances around trees and multiple costume changes. But anyone who’s ever been in a relationship knows that life is not like that at all. What if we were to meet our beloved film characters a few years after the “The End” sign came on screen? What would be going on with them then?

Hum Aapke Hain Kaun...!

As we all know, towards the end of Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, Madhuri Dixit's character Nisha was all dressed up to get married to Salman Khan's elder brother. It was only thanks to a vigilant pomerarian that disaster was averted and Nisha ended up with Prem. Call me old-fashioned if you want, but won't it be really awkward to live in a joint family and sing happy songs with the man you married and the man you almost married?

 

 

Dilwale Duhania Le Jaayenge

Yes, the songs were great; the vistas of Switzerland prompted many a visa application and the triumph of love over parental opposition was historic. But if one were to remove the mustard tinted lenses and look at Raj and Simran's relationship, one might spot a serious problem or two. For one thing, Raj was not even a college graduate. Not being snobbish or anything but I'm guessing that for a middle class girl like Simran, education would mean an awful lot. Secondly, judging by his off-hand attitude towards girls, Raj seemed to show some serious commitment issues. Who's to say he doesn't meet someone else while trekking up to Machu Pichu and love blossoms right there in the middle of the ancient Mayan ruins? All I'm saying is, Simran, keep a close watch on your man!

 

Rangeela

One major fight I see the couple having is over what Aamir "Munna" Khan would wear on their wedding day. Judging by his taste in clothes throughout the movie, it would be something unquestionably hideous and budding film star Urmila "Milli" Matondkar will simply not abide by that. But the question of a wedding outfit will only come up if there is to be a wedding. Let's face it - our Hindi film industry is not very fond of married actresses and Milli had dreamed of stardom for too long to give it up for domestic bliss. Her middle class sensibilities are not going to permit her to live-in with Munna and his borderline chauvinism will not be very pleased with being asked to wait. I see T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

 

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

Right, so Anjali (Kajol) clearly had a tomboyish streak in her (which I found totally adorable by the way) that she'd quelled through many years of training and learning to play basketball in a saree. What if the girl got fat? Many women do after getting married and "settling down" you know. What if she decided that her long hair was getting boring and went and got a haircut? Would Rahul (SRK) decide he's no longer attracted to her and put her back into "best friend" category? If I were Anjali, I'd say the man has a lot of explaining to do.

 

Kaho Naa... Pyar Hai

First of all, Sonia (Amisha Patel) has to grapple with the reality that her father was pretty much responsible for the death of the love of her live Rohit. That's years of therapy and paranoia medication right there. Then, because this is a Hindi film and everyone is expected to end up happily ever after, Sonia gets a second chance at a romance with Raj, who just happens to be a dead ringer for her old boyfriend. I see much confusion with names occurring at the most inopportune times. Frankly, this case of substituted ingredients is nothing but a recipe for disaster.

 

Kal Ho Naa Ho

Imagine knowing that you got the girl only because the main hero died of a mysterious ailment. Not good for the ego, is it? I'm guessing Saif's character Rohit probably suffered from some major self-esteem issues in his marriage and will not be surprised if he may have strayed off the path of fidelity owing to his insecurities.

 

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna

You know how couples are when they fight. They take the worst quality about each other and use it as ammunition. Now Dev (Shahrukh) and Maya (Rani) are two people who cheated on their original partners to be with each other. And Dev was generally known to be quite a disgruntled so-and-so, what with his broken leg and shattered dreams. Can you imagine the attitude he'd give Maya the next time a student's father spoke to her for an extra five minutes? We can just imagine SRK chanting, "Once a cheater, always a cheater" in his own special hammed way. No sir, not what we'd call a very healthy relationship.

 

3 Idiots

As an involved viewer (with too much time on her hands clearly), I had a lot of questions about Piya and Rancho/Phunsuk's love story. What made Piya go back to that ass Suhas? In the 10 years or so they were apart, was Rancho with no one else? I mean, it's known to get pretty cold in Ladakh and who knows what one might do for a little warmth... Is Piya ready to leave her good job in a posh hospital in Delhi and settle down in Ladakh? And of course there was that matter of the surname change.